What separates an ordinary Halloween yard haunt from a truly spook-tacular one? Expensive animatronic props, of course. But aside from that, it’s the small details, like the epitaphs you use for your fake tombstones.
Just like real epitaphs, the sayings on gravestone props can take a variety of forms, from simple phrases to verbose poems. However, unlike real epitaphs, these Halloween sayings are all about fun. They can be clever, spooky, or cute, just as long as they’re inspired by the playful spirit of Halloween.
To illustrate, here’s a big list of Halloween tombstone sayings of various types. Some of these have been making the rounds for years, while others are new and original. We hope you’re able to dig up an idea or two for your own haunted yard.
Humorous gravestones are always a big hit on Halloween. Here’s a selection of epitaphs that are sure to generate a nervous chuckle from visitors to your “cemetery.”
How does your garden grow?
Quite well, I bet, since it’s well fed
By your body down below
Which made him sing an angel’s note
Now she’s at rest and so am I
And Carolina bred
And here I lay
1946 – 1957
1980 – 1981
1985 – 1986
Three slugs from a forty-four
No Les, no more
Kicked the Bucket From Too Much Candy
He sure put a hole in Juan!
He made a misstep and wound up here
Grabbed the bull by the horns
But forgot to let go
They boxed up the pieces in the hearse
Owin’ more than he could pay
Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune
We planted him raw
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw
He was so cute
Until he forgot
Let your wind go free
For holding it in
Was the death of me!
Carried me off
Then a coffin
They carried me off in
Made one little blunder
Now he’s six feet under
Who aimed for the brake and hit the gas
If you’d rather give trick-or-treaters a shiver than a laugh, check out these spooky epitaphs.
As you are now, so once was I,
As I am now, so you must be,
Prepare for death and follow me
And cast an eye
As you are now
So once was I
Buried September 8, 1889
Died September 11, 1889
Remember well – there’s room for you!
To nature due
I’ve paid mine
And so must you
Must try the cold and silent grave
Violets are blue,
He came for me,
And he’ll come for you
Speechless still, and never cry
For more ideas, check out this list of the scariest quotes of all time.
Don’t have much space? Need to write in large letters so people can see? Then one of these short tombstone sayings might do the trick.
“Hey y’all… watch this!”
Another option is to just use a name for your inscription. Here are a few good ones that make use of puns and morbid humor.
For more ideas along these lines, see our list of funny skeleton names.
If you have several tombstones to work with, one clever option is to make them all fit a particular theme. The possibilities are endless, but we’ve outlined a few standout ideas here.
The Walking Dead
Any television show with a high body count is perfect for a themed Halloween graveyard, but because of its zombie-centered plot, The Walking Dead is especially apropos. Here’s just a short list of well-known characters who have died on the show:
Game of Thrones
Everyone’s favorite fantasy series is another great candidate for a themed graveyard. If you’re a GoT geek, you know that many of the show’s major characters have bitten the dust in memorable ways. Here’s a quick reminder of some of the options:
A graveyard featuring some of most notorious characters in horror can be both creepy and clever. While there are lots of fictional killers to consider for your headstone props, here are some of the biggies:
As you can see, there are plenty of options for Halloween tombstone sayings. You can even make up your own (see these short Halloween quotes for even more inspiration). Using your own creativity is a great way to come up with epitaphs that will really knock ’em dead.